


I've Buried my Heart in the Ghost of your Shadow

by Allise



Series: Clone Wars Shenanigans and Self Indulgences [7]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, Post-Order 66, i made myself sad writing this, the deathstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 08:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26349853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allise/pseuds/Allise
Summary: CC-2224 wakes up. He wakes up again and again, and always with the same headache that builds and builds with each blurry memory that resurfaces.CC-2224 is a clone, and he is defective.He should go to the medics.Cody doesn't go to the medics.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Clone Wars Shenanigans and Self Indulgences [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792738
Comments: 10
Kudos: 261





	I've Buried my Heart in the Ghost of your Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> No beta we die like my goddam heart whenever I think too hard about the clones and Order-66

_Commander Cody, execute Order 66._

_The familiar warmth in his chest that usually came from interacting with_ ~~_his General_~~ _the traitor chilled as the command came through. He felt empty- blank, as he put down his comm and raised his hand._

_“Blast him!”_

_Good soldiers follow orders._

* * *

CC-2224 woke with a slight jerk of his arm, the echoing shot of the blast from the cannon ringing in his ears. With a slight frown, he sat up, the lights in his room still dark signifying that it still wasn’t the end of the night cycle yet. He shook his head, sighing and pushed himself from his bunk, trying to rid himself of the memories that threatened to unbalance him. 

The Jedi were no more. Traitors to the Republic like the Emperor had said. After all, they had allowed the war in the first place- ordering the clones to be produced and made in time for it to begin.

Something nagged at the back of his mind as he thought that, but he pushed it away. These headaches had been rather persistent ever since that first night he had woken up to the sound of himself executing the order and raising his arm to shoot ~~his General~~ the Jedi from the cliff side a few days ago. CC-2224 probably should have gone to a medic, but he knew better.

He knows what happens to clones that are defective. 

* * *

_“Oh, not to worry Commander, it’s merely a scratch.”_

_He scowled, trying the makeshift bandages from the Jedi robes around said man’s bleeding torso._

_“This is much more than just a scratch General.” He huffed._

_Kenobi laughed, face pale but his eyes still so full of life. “You needn’t worry about me, Commander. I’ll be quite fine.”_

_Heaving a grunt as he pulled his di’kut Jetii up, he rolled his eyes and offered himself as a crutch to the injured man. Behind his helmet, he smiled._

_“I’ll always be worried about you, sir.”_

* * *

CC-2224 woke again in the middle of the night cycle with a phantom pressure of a weight against his side, the faint lift of his lips as a begrudging fondness swelled in his chest for a few moments. He shook it away. 

That… was different from the other dreams he’s been having. The headache began to pulse strongly and he groaned softly. What was happening? These headaches weren’t going away.

Maybe he was defective?

CC-2224 elected to visit the medics later.

* * *

_His hands were trembling from the force of his grip on the hologram as Rex relayed his final mission report of Umbara. Krell… that demogolka was no Jedi. He was a monster of the worst kind, manipulating his brothers like that and forcing them to kill each other because of some maddening and sickening sense of power over them. Krell thought they were going to lose this war and decided to just waste their lives for the fun of it. If he had been there he would have made Krell’s death as painful as-_

_“Cody, let go.” He felt a hand on his shoulder, gripping him firmly as another hand passed over his own. “Let go, dear one. You’re hurting yourself.”_

_He exhaled and slowly eased his grip on the edge of the hologram, feeling deeply the ache in his joints as he let go. That soothing tone he heard being whispered by his ear didn’t leave and he felt himself relax._

_“That’s it, Cody. That’s it.”_

* * *

CC-2224 gasped and jolted upward. _Cody._ Was he Cody? No, no, he’s always been CC-2224. That’s always what he’s gone by. 

_Cody._

But then… why did his Gen ~~eral~~ the traitor call him Cody? He should go to the medics. He should. Why doesn’t he?

Every time CC-2224 had entered the hallways towards the sickbay, his instincts have always screamed at him to turn back, to never ever get near the doors. He’s never been more thankful for wearing his helmet than when that happened- masking his face and the probable grimace whenever he got near. 

But why wouldn’t he go? He’s a clone and he’s defective. He’s gaining headaches from dreams of memories that he’s pushed away because they hadn’t mattered anymore. They were insignificant now. 

The Jedi were traitors. They had to be. And they were good soldiers. CC-2224 was a good soldier.

And good soldiers follow orders.

* * *

_“Cody- Cody, stay with me. Dear one, stay with me.”_

_He coughed, the burning pain in his side magnified as he did so. He watched as blood splattered across the beige robes of his Jedi. Nice robes. He felt bad getting them dirty._

_“‘S alright, sir.” He managed to say. “Leave me. You ‘ave to leave.”_

_“You know I can’t do that Cody.”_

_He shook his head and groaned, the pain only managing to make his head grow foggy. He looked back at his General. “You ‘ave to. ‘M jus’ a clone, there’ll be more.”_

_Shaky hands cradled his face and Cody could have died happily right there and then as his General leaned in close. “There will be none like you Cody. You’re all so different in your own ways. You’re not replaceable.”_

_He laughed weakly, blood pooling in his throat and he tilted to the side so he couldn’t get his General all messy again. “‘Like it, sir. When you say my name.” He slurred. “‘S my name. Tha’s me.”_

_Cody must have done something wrong because suddenly his General’s eyes were wet and shiny with tears. Oh no, he hadn’t meant to make him sad! About to ask what he had done wrong, he found himself at a lack for words as his General shakily pressed their foreheads together._

_“Cody.” Kenobi laughed wetly, still cradling his face with soft hands. “Cody. Oh, you’ll make it out of here. I promise.”_

_‘You can’t promise me that’ is what he should have said. He didn’t._

_He believed him instead._

* * *

~~Cody~~ CC-2224 woke up with tears in his eyes and the phantom touch of hands in his hair and a forehead pressed against his. A deep ache was settled in his chest as he tried to breathe through the blurry memories that the dream dragged up. 

He pushed his legs over the edge of his bed and rested his head in his hands. Why? Why were they popping up now? It’s been over a year since they executed ~~the Jedi~~ Order 66. 

Why was he remembering ~~Obi-Wan~~ the traitor now?

Besides, he was CC-2 ~~224~~ he wasn’t Cody…

He was a Clone Commander of the ~~212th Attack Battalion~~ Empire’s Forces. Clone Commander-22 ~~24~~ not… 

Commander ~~C~~ ~~ody~~. 

He sighed, pushing himself up from the bed and heading to the fresher. He was awake, might as well start the day.

CC-2224 still did not visit the medics.

* * *

_He was sitting on an old chair, rickety and made of some old wood that groaned ominously whenever he shifted his weight. He did not pay attention to it._

_Instead, all his focus was on one man and one man only._

_Cody watched Kenobi laugh and pour out a generous bit of that precious Corellian Brandy that he always seems to have at least a few bottles of that he packs away on the ship. The sunset shines brightly on his smiling face as he hands out the full glass to Waxer, who takes a grateful sip of it before passing it to Boil._

_Kenobi looks to him and Cody’s breath is caught in his throat as they lock gazes. The sun sets his copper hair aflame, and those sea glass, blue eyes seem so much more intense than Cody has ever seen them as Kenobi focuses on him. His General smiles and laughs._

_“Come, dear Cody. Join us.”_

_And how could he refuse?_

_He stands and makes his way over, taking the drink offered to him and wonders at the lingering sensation of the Jedi’s touch across his fingers. Cody sips the drink and smiles. “Thank you sir.”_

_His General smiles back, the warmth of the sun behind him and in his eyes as he mutters his next words, with more fondness than Cody has heard in his lifetime._

_“Please, my dear, call me Obi-Wan.”_

* * *

~~C C-2224~~ Cody, wakes with tears streaming down his face and the ghost of a name on his lips. Ob ~~i-W~~ ~~an~~ no, he’s a ~~traitor~~ General. He’s _his_ General. 

Traitor.

No.

Traitor!

Good soldiers follow orders-

_Who is he to refuse? Cody laughs and nods his head. “Of course, Obi-Wan.”_

_The delight in his eyes is something he could look at forever._

No! Good soldiers follow orders. Good soldiers follow orders. Good soldiers _follow orders._

_Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 gets up and dons his armor. 

Blank and white as snow. 

* * *

CC-2224 never goes to the medics about his headaches, nor about the resurfacing memories and feelings that accompany the dreams. The nightmares. 

Sometimes he wakes with _“blast him”_ on his lips. Sometimes he wakes with the ghost of a name about to be uttered to no one and nothing. 

CC-2224 tells no one, even as he scours the Galaxy side by side with his ~~brothers~~ troopers, looking for any remaining Jedi that escaped ~~Order 66~~ justice. 

CC-2224 is ~~Cody~~ defective. 

CC-2224 tells no one.

* * *

_“Tell me, Commander, what would you do if the war was to end tomorrow?”_

_He shrugged, fingers tapping at the screen as he signed off on yet another paper that needed his signature; from the accompanying sounds, he knew that Obi-Wan was doing the same despite asking his question. “Truthfully? I don’t know. This life is all I’ve ever known.”_

_The echoing sounds of fingers against the datapads stopped, but Cody refused to look up, even though he stopped typing as well._

_“Have you ever thought about it?”_

_Has he ever thought about it? Yes. Undoubtedly, yes. What vod hasn’t?_

_“Tell me about it, Commander?” He looked up to find Obi-Wan’s eyes on him, a sadness shining in those depths as he asked._

_Cody grinned and looked back at his datapad, continuing his typing. “I’m afraid that they’re rather quite boring, sir.”_

_What else was he supposed to say? That he imagined the war ending and pulling his General close? Spending their days together on some far off planet with no one else’s company but each other’s? That he’s spent so long thinking about what kissing him would be like, that it’s the most prevalent thing he can imagine after the war?_

_What else was he supposed to say?_

_That he loved him?_

_He did. Force damn it all, but he did. Against all odds, against all the rules and regulations, and against his own damned common sense, he had fallen in love with his General._

_A firm squeeze on his knee pulled him from his spiraling thoughts, and he looked up and found himself nearly nose to nose with Obi-Wan. He swallowed thickly, trapped in orbit around his Jedi._

_Obi-Wan’s lips parted and he found himself unfairly drawn to them. “Cody…”_

_He shuddered at the whisper of his name. He licked his lips and watched as Obi-Wan’s eyes flickered down to his mouth and then back up to stare in his eyes. “Perhaps- perhaps I want to follow you, sir. When the war is over.” He started._

_“You know you don’t owe me anything, Cody.”_

_He shook his head and grasped his General’s hands in his, dragging his thumb over his knuckles. His gaze didn’t stray from his General’s face. “I know I don’t. But, I think that I’d like to follow you, Obi-Wan. As long as you’ll have me. After the war… “_

_Obi-Wan’s expression shuddered, eyes closing and Cody found himself aching at the loss of those intense eyes focused only on him. He chuckled, and Cody found his hands being pulled against the Jedi’s chest, and he felt the steady beating of his General’s heart._

_“‘As long as I’d have you-’ dear Cody, I’d have you for as long as the Galaxy still stands.”_

_“I love you.” He blurts suddenly, the aching warmth and desire in his chest magnifying in seconds as he leans forward, pressing his forehead against Obi-Wan’s. “I love you- I love you so much. Obi-Wan Kenobi… I think you’ve stolen my heart.”_

_To his joy, the other man laughs, bright and maybe a little tearfully, cupping his hand around Cody’s cheek-_

_“You’ve stolen mine as well, my dear Cody. May I keep yours?”_

_And Cody has never felt more loved._

_“As long as I can keep yours.” He promises._

_Then they’re kissing. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of and so much more. He thinks he’s crying a little bit as they kiss and it should ruin the mood, but he’s so beyond feeling embarrassed at this point. He’s love-drunk._

_Cody’s kissing and being kissed and it’s everything he’s ever asked for and more._

_He knows now, that if they were to ever cut him open when he dies, they’d never find his heart with him. No. It’d be buried with the one he loves._

_His comm rings and he opens it up._

_They’re closing in on Utapau._

_Good soldiers follow orders._

* * *

CC-2224 runs through the hallways of the Deathstar, a headache still pulsing behind his eyes as blaster fire echoes by the Hangars. 

He exits the hallway just in time to see Darth Vader cut down a figure in brown robes that he’s seen too often to not understand what they mean. Even if it’s been decades since he’s last seen one. For some reason, he’s frozen there, in that space, just staring at the fallen robes as if expecting something to happen. 

Something in CC-2 ~~224~~ mourns. 

It’s only when the battle ends, when the remaining storm troopers march off and Vader has left, that ~~CC-2224~~ moves towards the heap of Jedi robes.

He kneels beside it and fishes through the fabric, looking for something that he doesn’t even know… 

His hand grasps the hilt of a lightsaber, old and cared for. The weight is familiar in his hand.

_“Come on. When have I ever let you down?”_

He mourns, cradling the life of his Jedi one last time, with a heart he’s buried long ago in the arms of a ghost.

The shadow of what’s left of Obi-Wan Kenobi is embraced in his trusted Commander.

Cody.


End file.
